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Expansion

I had a great day yesterday.  I took a long hike in Arastradero preserve, to some obscure near-deserted back trails, areas I had not reached before with my piddly 2 mile runs .  I donned binoculars, with all the time in the world to observe.  It was a completely blue-sky 68 degree sparkling pristine day.  As I walked, I felt the expansion that comes with wide open spaces.  I spied a white owl high in a tree next to his nest (what a treat!).  Down in the holler, I heard a tom turkey repeatedly broadcast his prowess with piercing gobble blasts, and then I spotted him – his red comb gave him away.  I heard, then saw, a woodpecker far off, persistently hammering away at a dead tree.  I saw some yellow finches and a smattering of daffodils bending silently in the wind, a pretty testimony to impending spring.

And the bay!  The spectacular bay! I had the whole day, and the whole bay, stretched out magnificently before me. 

At the vista point, as far as the eye could scan, I identified San Jose to the south, there’s Moffitt air force base, there’s Shoreline, there’s Dumbarton bridge, could that be the Oracle complex? And on up to San Francisco far to the north, cityscape shrouded in the mist.  Gracing the foreground, placid rolling hills and grazing cows surrounded the Stanford dish.  Rounding out the background, Fremont and its mountain ranges towered across the bay.

First the zig

I felt the expansion, not just of the outside environment, but inside me as well.  It’s what I’ve been missing – I’ve been in contract mode over the past year or so.  I’m not complaining… I’m at the point now where I realize (finally!) that this is life – it ebbs and it flows – there’s a cycle, a rhythm: birth and death, achievement and rest.  At least today, I can take it all in stride. I can be patient.  Today, I am at peace with my life.  I know what the journey is about now: ultimately, it’s the journey to me – to my authentic me. (If you would have told me I would write that last sentence 6 years ago, I would have pronounced you mad… do any of you know what I mean?)

My career is taking a (nother) turn… reflecting, my career has not been a traditional trajectory; nay, it has not been linear (and I enjoyed fitting in the word “nay”).  Like the path I hiked yesterday, it meanders – here to an eventual end, but with a nice stream to rest by for a bit – there for a glimpse of an upcoming view – back again to the ongoing trek to the top.  All the side-tracks enrich the overall experience.  One step leads to another. 

I view this California adventure as one of those side-paths.  It’s the zig.  Let me tally up the adventure:

• For me, the work was good for awhile: industry and field marketing has been fascinating and enlightening. I now understand how to approach vertical markets with targeted marketing messages and how to use a marketing execution engine to generate demand.  And this time spent helped propel me to my new opportunity.  It was also a place to weather the recession. I did want to specifically mention 2 people I particularly learned from, and they probably don’t even know it: John F and David H – those two gentlemen constantly FLOW with ease, with non-resistance, “it’s all good” seems a natural state for them.  I want that!
• As for my family, Ronny solidified his golf game, and his passion for it has not waned.  Our daughter is ensconced in kindergarten and a brave new social world – she is unfurling before my very eyes.  (she asked me last night “did you order me?”) We now know what a great school system (Los Altos) looks like.  Finally, in this past year, we’ve had a ton of close-knit family time, exploring the area as a threesome: big sur, lake tahoe, hearst castle, santa cruz, half moon bay, caltrain, happy hollow, shoreline, the many open space preserves… just growing and enjoying each other in a familial rhythm. 

I am grateful!

Still, it IS good to be back in expansion mode.

Burning white heat of desire

I’ve been brushing up on good old Napoleon Hill – you know, the classic Think and Grow Rich guy.  I love his presumption, that in order to achieve anything, you must have “the burning white heat of desire”. It has been true for me.  Anything I really wanted, I only achieved when I made up my mind that NOTHING was going to stand in my way: a college degree after dropping out of college twice; losing 23 pounds in 2003; my precious baby I adopted in my forties after years of self-doubt, a broken mate-finder, and fertility treatments.

We’ve enjoyed our foray into California. (Ronny has dubbed it the year of no-sweat golf.)  It’s all part of our bigger destiny.  What is the eventual destination?  I don’t know the big plan, but I trust in my Higher Power to lead, and I do know my next step.  

We decided that Austin is home for us.  Hill also posited that every desire must be followed up immediately by massive action.   Thus, I first made the intention (after checking with Ronny, natch): we are moving back in the spring no matter what – job or no job.  And upon that white heat of desire, Providence moved in as the back-wind, to sweep the plan along to that result.

And now the zag

This California adventure is coming to a close. 

We’ll be moving back to Austin at the end of March, back to our lovely sunny home that I miss (that, btw, would cost north of $2M where we live now).  We’re looking forward to Austin and bluebonnets in our front-view!  I’m back tomorrow working for Oracle, back in Sales – wa-hoo!  I am approaching this opportunity, not with grasping, clutching, clinging, hoarding arms, nor with furtive, cowering eyes.   It is the journey – the journey is everything, not the destination! I am approaching this next phase with outstretched, expanded, ready-to-embrace arms-flung-upward arms, and a joyous, open, ear-to-ear grin.   

Where am I headed?  Around that bend.  And then around the next… it seems fitting to close with a country song by the great George Strait – One Foot in Front of the Other